I cheated yesterday...a lot. I just entered this thought process of “I can never have carbs again” and felt dismal looking at my avocado with spinach and the possibility of a bunless avocado club from Smashburger that I know isn’t as good without the bun. My first cheat was at work when there were leftover fries and I just meant to pop in a tiny crisp runt of the fry litter….I did and it was amazing...but then I wanted more. After that I had Brennan bring me a Smashburger with the moist delicious bun and even fries. It was the most delicious and succulent burger I could remember ever having, and the texture of the potato fries made my mouth water, I truly missed it.
Suddenly my body felt weak and I had a massive blood rush...and yet it still moved and the weakness passed quickly...meaning I could have more carbs. After work one of our friends came over and we wound up drinking….all health barriers down we stopped at Wal Mart to just get bacon….then I saw the cookies. Not just any cookies, but the soft, themed for whatever holiday is going on, cookies that Wal-Mart makes, greeted me with a “you know you want me” pose. I caved and deliberately, not denying to myself that I didn't know what I was doing, stared at them, imagining eating them, for about twenty seconds before I realized people were staring and public drunkeness is not a good thing. So I put them at my side and thirty seconds after being paid for they were in my mouth. I told myself to stop, that even though I had started it was going to still get worse the more carbs I ate, not just add up and go away no matter how many I ate….this worked for maybe an hour before I got a chicken bacon ranch melt from Subway...that was delicious too and I ate it in three minutes, felt a bit sick and went to bed.
This morning, slightly mad at myself but also understanding, I worked out a lot more than usual and ran two miles in 16 minutes, did 30 minutes of custom 3 on the stair pedal machine and never allowed myself to slow down, thinking of burning through the carbs the whole time. I’m going to aim for the keto fast (basically not eating for the day) and see if I can back to ketosis sooner rather than later, but overall I still have loads of energy today and only feel a bit of mental fog. Maybe it wasn't the end of the world.
