Seductive Carbs Drip the Most Temptation

Specifically the loaded fries at Alamo are irresistible. The only things they drip are sour cream and cheese, which are acceptable for mouth times but their vessel is a fry. For a time I'll try and just sneak the bacon and cheese with moments of sour cream but it feels like scarfing in the jungle while the other lions watch. Seriously. It hits those primal chords and it is not a happy feeling. I'll also peel the toppings from the crust but that also looks weird and the wtf looks are also never fun when you're integrating into a new work environment but that melty cheese and pepperoni is just sitting there while your body has just used up all of its calories and doesn't understand why it can't have the immediate ones before it.
So I said fuck it a few times to fries and sometimes shakes. We have the best fucking shakes. And there's this kid inside you also. When everyone around the place, including gorgeous women with pretty faces and asses, are slurping into shakes and still having sparkling eyes, why am I denying my body these delicious mouthfucks of bliss? So sometimes, after already breaking for the fries, I'll chug a few slurps of shake. What could it truly cause for so little sugar and carbs if my body would burn right through them?

Ha. Mwahaha. Yeah. Demon laughs and Fuckslayer moments occurred. Overall it made an interesting experiment, unintentional but so is the best science. I changed mentally. Three days of no depression, finally, and then suddenly it just came. I snapped at people, smiling was harder and the tingles came up as well as the scratchy feeling inside and towards others. A friend asked what was wrong before I realized something was, provoked and annoyed the depression could take me so quickly so I denied it. But there it was and ...after a few hours I could think on it. I could chalk it up to the job but overall that aspect is an independent factor while the carbs are the dependent. I can enjoy the job for the entire time if carbs are denied entirely but moments after the carbs I'm more easily provoked and things are scratchy to the point of hazing and situations just...unsatisfying. Even people are ...annoying isn't right...but right at the same time, just not my general connotation of it. Killable. In ways it's also fun because the snap makes the job easier in terms of not caring and hours go by more quickly when they aren't calm. More excitable.

So a theory arose from all of this. An odd theory that needs testing but still one nonetheless. What if...depression and suicide isn't a mythical surreal thing but actually quantifiable towards the amount of wrong things we put in our body? What if the body, when it is functioning from the wrong energy source, tries to get you to kill it? What if there is higher thinking Darwinism?
From there...why?
Does the body want to evolve? Does it say to kill it do promote a greater species or does it just not want live when a better potential body could be formed? Is it a less dynamic view when you look at it from an amount perspective? If you only have a twinkie your body just groans and says to not do it again but if you continue the cycle the body gets...angry/unhappy with the continuation and overtime develops a need to kick you out of it/kick itself out of existence?

I don't know really but it is an interesting question to look into. Other animals don't face suicidal thoughts, that we know of, and why would they? The primal need is to continue the species so humans went wrong somewhere and I feel a major difference between other animals and humans is the inability to know what we should be eating.

Many on keto report anxiety and depression lowering as well as other mental issues. There is research in the field but I believe it more from self analysis you can find on Reddit.com/r/keto

8 Months of Keto

So I forgot about this blog...most of the time, sometimes it was laziness. Overall I've been staying on the keto train and it has been delicious to the point carbs just don't taste very good anymore. Eating food with buns or sandwiches with bread is satisfying for about one bite before I just want to taste the delicious cheeses and meats and veggies just beneath that surface.

The hardest part has actually been getting over the cult mentality that comes with it. Seeing people eat bread and knowing that life feels better without it is very difficult, especially when you love those people, but slowly I'm calming down with some chill pills and bacon and mental exercises that involve remembering they have free will. The annoyance tends to come from people wanting to start, getting tips from you and then bitching for a while about how they miss bread and then giving up. Don't give me all that hope! *end of rant*

Mostly I've been eating food from alldayidreamaboutfood and ibreatheimhungry, or just nomming on random nuts, meats and cheeses in their cold forms or heat them up in a skillet with butter and a shot of bacon grease on the side.

There's quite a few options for sweets with erythitrol and stevia, but once consumed they take over my thoughts for the day until I can eat them again. Ultimate cravings so I'm trying to avoid them more and more, but they call to me all the time still and I still have plenty of hours on my call card/a bag of ten dollar sweetener in the cabinet. I have been halving the amount required in the recipe though and things tasted a bit off at first but overall you can taste deeper flavors once used to it and don't want to eat the whole recipe as badly. Also, eating fatty food before having the sweets helps. Starting with sweets on an empty stomach makes it even harder to stop and then the idea of cooking and waiting to eat other foods becomes groan worthy.